The Best

I have decided - I will be the decider here! - that the best thing in the world is lying on my couch with Adelais resting on my chest and both of us taking a nap. Easily, the best. (see picture of previous post to see Andrea demonstrating this position).

The Mommy Connection

It is true - a baby and her mommy has a sweet, sweet, intimate connection. When I am holding Adelais and unless she is really crying hard you can see her soften when I hand her to Andrea. It is as if she is going to a place where she feels most safe - which, of course, it is that kind of place for her right now. In Andrea's arms is where she is fed and loved so greatly it must feel to Adelais like the most incredibly special, safe place. I mean, I hope she feels safe when I am holding her, or when anyone holds her -- but, certainly, there is something special about being held by your mom. Especially now, when their connection is so intimate. I also see a change in Andrea as she holds, feeds and cares for Adelais - a softness is so apparent in Andrea when she holds her daughter. She is, clearly, full love for our little girl - it is now one of my favorite things to see - Andrea and Adelais holding, supporting and loving one another.

Belly Belly Belly Button!

Last night Adelais' umbilical cord fell off and now she has a cute little belly button. It was pretty amazing how the cord just slowly dried up and then easily fell off. No big deal - Adelais didn't even notice. It is another in the ongoing changes that we are noticing with her. Yesterday we also went to see the doctor for her second check up and she gained 10 ounces, in 8 days! We thought she was beginning to look alittle chubby! Also, in the last day or so she seems to be coming into her voice alittle bit more - had some good loud yells, which is new. She's also finding times to fuss alittle bit more and at these times she's expressing herself through her voice more than she did at first. It is interesting to see these little changes as they come day by day.

Perchance, to sleep, to dream

Ok, so that's not quite the Shakespeare quote, but you get the idea... It is one week into having our little Adelais and so far so good. The first question everyone asks is "are you sleeping much?" And, I must say, we're doing ok. Adelais is sleeping a good 2-3 hours at a time during the night. In fact, sometimes we have to wake her up to give her her feeding every 3 hours. Andrea, of course, is getting alittle less sleep than I, but she's still getting enough, for now - as well as a nice nap most afternoons. During the night Andrea is responsible for feeding Adelais, and I'm responsible for changing any diapers that need changing, which is usually at least one each night. One aspect that I think is helping is that we have bought a co-sleeper from Arms Reach (see picture), a crib-like bed that attaches to our bed. Since the side closest to our bed is low, and Adelais is sleeping at the same level as us, Andrea can get Adelais without getting out of bed, or really even sitting up. I think this helps with Andrea's staying more rested and Adelais sleeping better - she is close enough that it is easy to reassure her or bring her closer to cuddle with her. So we are sleeping, not as much as we had been before, but sleep is happening... so far...

Why the labor & delivery of Adelais rocked!

1. Andrea: she was amazing! With each contraction she went deep into it, didn't fight it, but really road each ride. I think reading "Childbirth without Fear" really helped her prepare for the intensity of labor, and she handled it beautifully. In fact, afterwards she said she would not associate what she was going through with pain in the normal sense - yes, it was intense, but not painful.

2. Helen, our doula: If you or your partner is pregnant the number one piece of advise I have is to get yourself a doula. First, before the birth we were able to talk with her about what it will be like, talk about fears and alot of misinformation that floats around. She took us through some exercises to help Andrea relax and me be prepared. And then at the birth, she was just two more hands that were completely dedicated to Andrea and her process. She helped support Andrea when she needed it, talked her through some of the more intense contractions and really helped as Andrea was in the pushing phase. I could keep a whole blog just on how wonderful it was to have Helen with us - get yourself a doula!

3. Prince George's Country Hospital: Not many people are giving this hospital complements these days, but we could not have been more happy with the staff and facilities. Since we were doing a natural birth we got to use the Birth Center - which is really wonderful. When we arrived the nurse/midwife on duty helped us transition into the center and one of the first things she suggested was for us to use the jacuzzi/hot tub for some of the labor. Andrea got in, and alittle while later I joined her and we spent 3 hours or so as Andrea labored in the water. It was really helpful - Andrea felt that it took some of the pressure off of her and it allowed me to support her from underneath. Some of the other nurses helped with keeping the water at a comfortable temperature and with monitoring Andrea and Adelais' vital signs. After the birth and at all points the staff was completely supportive, responsive and delightful!

4. Dr. Dunmore: Andrea's OB had never delivered in the Birth Center at PG Hospital, but was completely open to using it. She even had to go into the hospital to meet the midwifes, get a tour and let them do some things "their way", all of which she was fine with. Of course, many doctors would not be open to it, so we were very lucky Dr. Dunmore was Andrea's doctor.

5. Natural Child Birth: I can't imagine going through the birth of your child while the mother is drugged up - which, of course, makes the baby drugged up as well. I know I may get knocked for saying this as the man in the equation, but Andrea feels the same way. To be fully present and aware and awake through the whole process and watching Andrea go through that process was truly amazing. Natural Child Birth should be the first option when giving birth and all the drugs used only as back up. Go Natural!

POP!

Quick note: Andrea gave birth to Adelais Chastant Burkholder on Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 11:55am. Her labor and delivery were everything we could have hoped for - completely natural with a supportive team of nurses, midwifes, Andrea's doctor and our amazing dulah, Helen Rea. Her labor lasted 10 hours and Adelais was 7lbs 6ozs when she was born. I have so much more to say, but that will have to come at another time.

holding pattern

Well, we're still waiting. Things are certainly moving along, but slowly. It is an interesting place to be in, this holding pattern. I keep going through my daily life, but with this feeling of anticipation - ready to leave it all at a notice. In every class I teach I'm leaving my cell phone on so I can, and will, answer it. Every time it rings I leap to see if it is Andrea calling.... I'm going to be exhausted by the time we actually have to start this thing...

Waiting

Now, we're waiting. Andrea's due date is May 6th, but for some reason I think we both thought she would go into labor earlier this week. Does everyone think that? She can feel, day to day, that the baby is dropping lower, and I can see a difference. Does everyone go through this? This thinking it is going to happen, which, of course, is a hoping for or a wanting the labor to start. It is an interesting state of flux, because you keep going with your day to day activities, but with this anticipation hanging over you and your wife.

The other night while sleeping I rolled over and my leg brushed against Andrea's leg. Since it was cool her skin was cool and, as is sometimes the case, the coolness felt like wetness. I immediately woke up and starting feeling around the bed, and her hips and pelvis area because I thought her water had broken. Of course, it hadn't. I'm just so ready for it to happen and for us to go into this amazing event I'm alittle on edge these days.