Fall 2010 Conversation

I haven't been updating this much over the last year or so, but a conversation with Adelais yesterday pretty much catches her personality.

Adelais: "Daddy, why does Grandpa call me a cracker-jack?"

Daddy: "Well, because a cracker-jack is someone who is funny, smart and very silly."

Adelais: "Grandpa is so funny."

Daddy: "Does mommy call you anything?"

Adelais:"She calls me a love-muffin."

Daddy: "Really?"

Adelais: "Can you believe that she thinks I'm a muffin?"

Daddy: "No, I can't."

Adelais (whispering): "What are we going to do with her?"

Daddy: "I have no idea..."

The New Year Crawl

From Dec 31 through Jan 7th we were down in Florida visiting my family (Mom & Dad, Sister & kids, and Grandma) and had a great time despite the weather (coldest weather in 5 years!). For Adelais it was a momentus occasion - she began to crawl. Before we left she was taking some small single steps, but by the time we got back to DC she was cruising arond with no problem. It was great to watch her get better and better at it each day and I was really excited that my family got to watch it happen! First thing I did when I got home (with help from Andrea's Dad), even before unpacking, was to put the baby gate at the top of the stairs - She is unstoppable now!

The picture is Adelais with her cousin Dakota.

all alone

This last weekend Andrea went up to New York City and Adelais and I were on our own from early Sat. morning until Sunday evening. Well, actually Adelais' Grandpa came over for a couple of hours while I had clients, but mostly we were alone. And, it went really well! I think Andrea was nervous leaving us alone, I know I was! But, we had alot of fun hanging around the house, taking a walk, taking a nap on Daddy's lap while I watch alittle college football. Of course, I was most nervous about the nighttime. And, while it wasn't easy, it wasn't too bad either. She woke up twice during the night (once for 1.5 hours) and then was awake for the day at 6am, but she did have some good chunks of sleep as well. Next time will be better, but this wasn't too bad. On Sunday we went to the farmers' market, stopped by the co-op and visited a friend who hadn't met Adelais yet. She was in a great mood all morning and then slept for a solid hour before being quite playful all afternoon. She did start getting cranking later in the day, but mom was home just in time to save the day!!

Two Days, Very Different

Yesterday I had Adelais for quite a while as Andrea started back to teaching Pilates this week. It started out ok, but ended horribly. From 5:15 until 7:30 Adelais yelled - not cried, but yelled. She was so incredibly upset that at times I thought she was going to hyperventilate. After the first hour I thought I was going to loose it myself. I had tried everything I could think of - fed her, walked with her, didn't walk with her, tried a bunch of different ways of holding her, set her down, picked her up again, took her outside, gave her stuff to teeth with, everything I could think of. It was so hard because I just wanted to make her feel better, and safe and happy. I felt like such a failure because I couldn't figure out what to do for her. And, I know, that sometimes babies just get really upset. It was so hard.

And then today I was with her and we had the best time. Adelais and I played on her mat and she smiled, laughed and practiced rolling over so much, it was great. When she started to get alittle upset I gave her a bottle, or we went outside, or we switch activities and she would calm down again. Right before Andrea got home Adelais was getting upset again - it was about time for her to take her next nap and she usually fights it alittle bit. I laid her down on her blanket and she was squirming so I leaned down and gave her a bunch of little kisses on the cheek and almost immediately she was still and closed her eyes. I stopped kissing her and she opened her eyes again, so I started kissing her and she drifted back to sleep. So, I curled down on the floor with her and every time she stirred alittle bit I kissed her and she ended up having a nice long nap.

I have to remember that the hard times do pass and the good times are really the best...

Teething

Adelais is clearly teething these days. She is constantly gumming anything and everything - her own hand, any piece of fabric, Andrea's fingers, my nose... It is certainly preoccupying her and, at times, upsetting her. I think she is doing this early, but my mother said her sister had a tooth as early as 3 months. So, I guess this isn't totally surprising.

If you have kid(s) you know this, but it is amazing how quickly new things come up. It seems like every week we have something new to adjust to. I'm kind of assuming this rate of rapid change and development slows down at some point... like by the time she's 6.... It is certainly amazing to watch, and alittle tiring!

Sleep, sweet sleep

Adelais has now become one of those babies that doesn't like to sleep through the night. Mostly she is waking up every 1-2 hours, just enough to wake up Andrea so she can't sleep. Andrea then gives Adelais alittle to eat and she is back asleep; of course, it takes Andrea another 20 minute to fall asleep and Adelais is awake before she knows it. She usually doesn't cry at night (I mean, Adelais), but is just alittle fussy. Though earlier this week she was really cranky and I had to take her downstairs so Andrea could get some sleep. Adelais started to cry, and because my best tactic to keep her happy is to put her in the stroller and take her for a walk Adelais and I (still in my sleeping clothes) were walking the mean streets of our neighborhood at 2:30am. It kept her quiet and content, but it is certainly not ideal. Additionally, Adelais isn't sleeping hardly at all during the day - a couple of 20-30 minute naps with an occasional longer nap. But thankfully, she's relatively happy and alert. We've tried to keep a similar routine so Adelais understands when it is night time and ready to go to bed, but I'm not sure this is sinking in yet. Hopefully she'll shift soon back to sleeping longer periods at night - it kind of seems that she is working so much out right now that her little mind is in overdrive and can't turn it off at night...

late night ditty

Adelais has been alittle cranky lately in the evenings. So, last night, while I was up walking around with her I made up alittle song...

There is a girl named Adelais
Who is so sweet, most of the day
But when its dark, when its night
She becomes such a fright
She'll begin to fuss and wiggle around
Doesn't want to be held or set down
She'll yell, she'll scream, she'll even shout
sticks out her lip and begins to pout
Ther is a girl named Adelais
Who is so sweet.... most of the day

Imagine singing it like a Shakespearean bard.... : )

Other Firsts

It has been a week of firsts! Yesterday Adelais rolled from her belly to her back for the first time - actually, for the first three times, right in a row! Of course, she decided to stop rolling by the time I was able to get the video camera. But, it was really cool and she seemed more surprised than Andrea and I. She is also pretty regularly rolling from her back onto her side as she hasn't quite figured out what to do with her arms. As soon as that happens she'll be rolling onto her belly in no time. It is quite incredible and humbling to watch this little girl learn and grow and acquire skill after skill. Even though they seem simple things, you know they are important building blocks for her as a mover and individual. I'm just in awe...

Catch Up

Oh, it has been too long since I've written! I've been overly busy the last two weeks, so there is alot to get caught up on...
1. Adelais is still incredible!
2. She is now grabbing things and has just started bringing them to her mouth.
3. Today, actually, this evening she laughed for the first time. We were in the living room and I was playing with her as she lied on her back and she gave a short, small laugh. Now, it could have been just her playing with making noises, but Andrea and I looked at one another and we both thought it was a laugh. We'll see if she laughs again soon and then we'll be sure. But, regardless, it was pretty cool.
4. Today Adelais attended her first dance rehearsal. I had rehearsal with my company for a show next weekend and as I directed the rehearsal I held Adelais in a front carrier. After awhile she had to get out and Andrea had to feed her, but she did so good sleeping for the first hour or so of the rehearsal. Of course, everyone wanted to hold her so she had a good day socializing as well!
I think that is all for right now - I promise to not be away so long! : )

touching hair

One of the cutest things is to watch Adelais touch her own hair. Andrea pointed it out to me - it is as if she is surprised everytime she touches her head that there is hair on it. Lately she has been also exploring her face - she'll just sit there with her eyes closed, slowly moving her hands over her face. It is as if she is getting to know herself through touch - which, actually, is probably exactly what she is doing...

Mouth Play

I have read about this, but it wasn't really until this week that Adelais started to mimic what Andrea and I did with our mouths and tongues. It started with Andrea sticking out her tongue and Adelais responding - it was so cute! Recently it has also involved opening and closing her mouth in response to us. I imagine this is connected to the fact that she is making alot more sounds now. All different kinds of sounds - "AHHHs", "YEEEEs", gurgles and etc.. As we're moving our mouth and tongue, making sounds and even just talking to one another she just sits there and stares at our mouth so intently - it looks like she is just trying to figure out what the heck you're doing - so, of course, she can do it too!

Some Hard Days

This last week was hard for me. I was having a real problem not taking Adelais' behavior personally. For a number of days, it seemed that every time I picked her up or held her she would start crying, and crying hard. There were times when she would be lying there, seemingly content, and I would pick her up and she would instantly cry. Or, Andrea would be holding her and pass her to me and she would cry. Nothing I did seemed to calm her down, except, occasionally, if I gave her my little finger to suck on. But then only for a short period of time and she would be back to crying. I was really (I mean REALLY!) upset about this on Thursday and Friday, but, luckily, this weekend we've had some fun together. This morning we went into the dance studio and she laid on a mat while I stretched and did a little workout. She just, mostly, watched me with those big blue eyes and I even got her to smile alittle. So, I am feeling better now, but it was certainly rough for a while. I am sure this is just the first of many times where her reactions effect me so strongly.

Why the labor & delivery of Adelais rocked!

1. Andrea: she was amazing! With each contraction she went deep into it, didn't fight it, but really road each ride. I think reading "Childbirth without Fear" really helped her prepare for the intensity of labor, and she handled it beautifully. In fact, afterwards she said she would not associate what she was going through with pain in the normal sense - yes, it was intense, but not painful.

2. Helen, our doula: If you or your partner is pregnant the number one piece of advise I have is to get yourself a doula. First, before the birth we were able to talk with her about what it will be like, talk about fears and alot of misinformation that floats around. She took us through some exercises to help Andrea relax and me be prepared. And then at the birth, she was just two more hands that were completely dedicated to Andrea and her process. She helped support Andrea when she needed it, talked her through some of the more intense contractions and really helped as Andrea was in the pushing phase. I could keep a whole blog just on how wonderful it was to have Helen with us - get yourself a doula!

3. Prince George's Country Hospital: Not many people are giving this hospital complements these days, but we could not have been more happy with the staff and facilities. Since we were doing a natural birth we got to use the Birth Center - which is really wonderful. When we arrived the nurse/midwife on duty helped us transition into the center and one of the first things she suggested was for us to use the jacuzzi/hot tub for some of the labor. Andrea got in, and alittle while later I joined her and we spent 3 hours or so as Andrea labored in the water. It was really helpful - Andrea felt that it took some of the pressure off of her and it allowed me to support her from underneath. Some of the other nurses helped with keeping the water at a comfortable temperature and with monitoring Andrea and Adelais' vital signs. After the birth and at all points the staff was completely supportive, responsive and delightful!

4. Dr. Dunmore: Andrea's OB had never delivered in the Birth Center at PG Hospital, but was completely open to using it. She even had to go into the hospital to meet the midwifes, get a tour and let them do some things "their way", all of which she was fine with. Of course, many doctors would not be open to it, so we were very lucky Dr. Dunmore was Andrea's doctor.

5. Natural Child Birth: I can't imagine going through the birth of your child while the mother is drugged up - which, of course, makes the baby drugged up as well. I know I may get knocked for saying this as the man in the equation, but Andrea feels the same way. To be fully present and aware and awake through the whole process and watching Andrea go through that process was truly amazing. Natural Child Birth should be the first option when giving birth and all the drugs used only as back up. Go Natural!

Watching Births

Yesterday Andrea and I met with Helen - our doulah - and we watched a number of excerpts from the show "House of Babies". We don't have cable or anything so we don't have the ability to watch this normally. Helen fast forwarded through alot of the episodes so that we could get to the "good stuff", meaning, the birth. Most, if not all, of the births that we watched were underwater, which is amazing. The baby's head will come out and still be under water, and because it is getting oxygen still through the umbilical cord it is fine until it comes all the way out. But, was most interesting about the different births was how different women reacted to being in labor, especially the last bit of labor. There was one women who could barely keep going, saying it was too hard. Another women was almost smiling between contractions as she seemed so content, even with the intensity of the last bit of pushing. And another women was almost methodical in her approach, as if she was doing a job and just trying to get it done. What was not different about each woman after the birth was how happy they were and how they beamed with joy as they held their newly born baby.

It will be interesting to see how Andrea (and I) do during the birth of our little one. I'll keep you posted...

Working with a Doula

So far, Andrea and I could not be more happy over our decision to have hired a Doula to help us with our natural childbirth. Andrea met once with Helen and then we've met once together with her. In addition to being a Doula, Helen is a Alexander Technique teacher and a Cranial-Sacral practitioner. Both of these are kinds of body/mind work that helps your body operate at its best. When we last met with Helen she did some Cranial-Sacral work with Andrea (which was very subtle) while I read a Hypno-Birthing script. Our goal was to help Andrea relax and release while we were both supporting her - Helen with her hands, me with my voice. Andrea certainly was able to let go and enter a deep state of relaxation - and, her face got so calm and gentle - she was really beautiful while lying there. Helen also gave us some reading to do about the birth cycle and they are helping us understand the stages and such. We meet again this Friday for more adventures in birth preparations!

The Beginning

Welcome! This is my new blog - The Daddy Dance. It is all about becoming and being a dad. My wife (Andrea) is currently at 36 weeks, so we are entering the time when we can become parents at any time. While this is so exciting I find it incredibly scary as well. I mean, I think I will be a good dad, but I also get nervous about being good enough. It is certainly alot of the bigger responsibilities that worry me - ie. money, scheduling time, education. The day to day stuff I feel more confident about, but we'll see....

I'm sure I as go along and write about this process I'll tell more and more about myself, but for now it is enough to say that I am a working dancer/choreographer and a Feldenkrais Practioner (see the link to The Integrated Body to learn more about that). I live just outside DC with my wife and teach part time at University of Maryland College Park as well as some local studios. My dance company, The PlayGround, has a show coming up on April 27-29 (and Andrea's due May 6th). And, in addition to this blog I have a blog that is keeping track of my current creative project - My ocean is never blue at http://improvarts.alkem.org/myoceanisneverblue.

Best... more soon.