New Twists

Some updates:

• Mainly, Adelais is walking like a pro. She started walking alittle over two weeks ago and now just cruises around the house. She still has trouble stepping over or onto things, but other than that she is good to go, and she does!

• Last week, for the first time, I walked into the room while Andrea was holding Adelais and she (Adelais, not Andrea) leaned and reached to come to me. It made me so happy.

• The stereo - we have a stereo in the living room and when it is on Adelais loves to grap the big volume nob and turn it up and down and up and down. She doesn't quite get the concept of "too loud" yet, so we have to be close by, or we end up running and turning it down.

That's it for now - she is just getting more and more fun! : )

To Pacifier or Not

At first, I must say, I felt pretty against using a pacifier. It seemed to me that you were just distracting your child when they wanted to eat. After talking with our pediatrician and other people (mom) I've certainly softened some on that stance. We're now experimenting with one and seeing if it works and makes sense for us. So far Adelais hasn't taken to it very much - she much prefers her mom's nipple or a pinkie finger. I'll sit with her and she will happily suck away at my little finger, but if I try and switch it for the pacifier she gets pretty upset. A couple of times we've gotten her to use the pacifier, but mostly she's not into it. I still don't want to use the pacifier, or the finger, in place of her eating, but sometimes it seems she is just using mom's nipple to calm herself. In those cases it seems OK. We'll keep experimenting and see.

Why the labor & delivery of Adelais rocked!

1. Andrea: she was amazing! With each contraction she went deep into it, didn't fight it, but really road each ride. I think reading "Childbirth without Fear" really helped her prepare for the intensity of labor, and she handled it beautifully. In fact, afterwards she said she would not associate what she was going through with pain in the normal sense - yes, it was intense, but not painful.

2. Helen, our doula: If you or your partner is pregnant the number one piece of advise I have is to get yourself a doula. First, before the birth we were able to talk with her about what it will be like, talk about fears and alot of misinformation that floats around. She took us through some exercises to help Andrea relax and me be prepared. And then at the birth, she was just two more hands that were completely dedicated to Andrea and her process. She helped support Andrea when she needed it, talked her through some of the more intense contractions and really helped as Andrea was in the pushing phase. I could keep a whole blog just on how wonderful it was to have Helen with us - get yourself a doula!

3. Prince George's Country Hospital: Not many people are giving this hospital complements these days, but we could not have been more happy with the staff and facilities. Since we were doing a natural birth we got to use the Birth Center - which is really wonderful. When we arrived the nurse/midwife on duty helped us transition into the center and one of the first things she suggested was for us to use the jacuzzi/hot tub for some of the labor. Andrea got in, and alittle while later I joined her and we spent 3 hours or so as Andrea labored in the water. It was really helpful - Andrea felt that it took some of the pressure off of her and it allowed me to support her from underneath. Some of the other nurses helped with keeping the water at a comfortable temperature and with monitoring Andrea and Adelais' vital signs. After the birth and at all points the staff was completely supportive, responsive and delightful!

4. Dr. Dunmore: Andrea's OB had never delivered in the Birth Center at PG Hospital, but was completely open to using it. She even had to go into the hospital to meet the midwifes, get a tour and let them do some things "their way", all of which she was fine with. Of course, many doctors would not be open to it, so we were very lucky Dr. Dunmore was Andrea's doctor.

5. Natural Child Birth: I can't imagine going through the birth of your child while the mother is drugged up - which, of course, makes the baby drugged up as well. I know I may get knocked for saying this as the man in the equation, but Andrea feels the same way. To be fully present and aware and awake through the whole process and watching Andrea go through that process was truly amazing. Natural Child Birth should be the first option when giving birth and all the drugs used only as back up. Go Natural!

Watching Births

Yesterday Andrea and I met with Helen - our doulah - and we watched a number of excerpts from the show "House of Babies". We don't have cable or anything so we don't have the ability to watch this normally. Helen fast forwarded through alot of the episodes so that we could get to the "good stuff", meaning, the birth. Most, if not all, of the births that we watched were underwater, which is amazing. The baby's head will come out and still be under water, and because it is getting oxygen still through the umbilical cord it is fine until it comes all the way out. But, was most interesting about the different births was how different women reacted to being in labor, especially the last bit of labor. There was one women who could barely keep going, saying it was too hard. Another women was almost smiling between contractions as she seemed so content, even with the intensity of the last bit of pushing. And another women was almost methodical in her approach, as if she was doing a job and just trying to get it done. What was not different about each woman after the birth was how happy they were and how they beamed with joy as they held their newly born baby.

It will be interesting to see how Andrea (and I) do during the birth of our little one. I'll keep you posted...

Working with a Doula

So far, Andrea and I could not be more happy over our decision to have hired a Doula to help us with our natural childbirth. Andrea met once with Helen and then we've met once together with her. In addition to being a Doula, Helen is a Alexander Technique teacher and a Cranial-Sacral practitioner. Both of these are kinds of body/mind work that helps your body operate at its best. When we last met with Helen she did some Cranial-Sacral work with Andrea (which was very subtle) while I read a Hypno-Birthing script. Our goal was to help Andrea relax and release while we were both supporting her - Helen with her hands, me with my voice. Andrea certainly was able to let go and enter a deep state of relaxation - and, her face got so calm and gentle - she was really beautiful while lying there. Helen also gave us some reading to do about the birth cycle and they are helping us understand the stages and such. We meet again this Friday for more adventures in birth preparations!

The Beginning

Welcome! This is my new blog - The Daddy Dance. It is all about becoming and being a dad. My wife (Andrea) is currently at 36 weeks, so we are entering the time when we can become parents at any time. While this is so exciting I find it incredibly scary as well. I mean, I think I will be a good dad, but I also get nervous about being good enough. It is certainly alot of the bigger responsibilities that worry me - ie. money, scheduling time, education. The day to day stuff I feel more confident about, but we'll see....

I'm sure I as go along and write about this process I'll tell more and more about myself, but for now it is enough to say that I am a working dancer/choreographer and a Feldenkrais Practioner (see the link to The Integrated Body to learn more about that). I live just outside DC with my wife and teach part time at University of Maryland College Park as well as some local studios. My dance company, The PlayGround, has a show coming up on April 27-29 (and Andrea's due May 6th). And, in addition to this blog I have a blog that is keeping track of my current creative project - My ocean is never blue at http://improvarts.alkem.org/myoceanisneverblue.

Best... more soon.